A friend of mine shared his idea of the current political crisis that my shithole country is having right now. If you have know idea of what I'm blabbing about, read this. (Don't get me wrong, I love my shithole country but I just love making fun of it more). His idea is definitely waaaay out there but I just couldn't let this one pass so I just have to share it to whoever it is that would come across this blog. Please be advised that this is a very lame attemp to analyze the situtation. And like all of my posts, expect a lot of crap.

Any geek including myself knows or have played Quake 3 at some point. Quake has a lot of mods and the most popular of these mods is "capture the flag" or CTF. Before anything else, I guess we need to clarify some terms/definitions.

(1) Capture the flag is a quake 3 mod where two oppposing teams have base camps and a flag. For a team to score, a player must skillfully get the opponent's flag and bring it to his/her base and plant it side by side on his/her flag.

(2) Flag cap is the term given to the moment a player plants the opponents flag beside his/her flag.

(3) HOLY SHIT! is one of the best quirks of this mod. When a player is about to plant the opponent's flag beside his/her flag but gets fragged in the process of doing so, both the player who tried to plant the flag and the player who fragged him/her will hear a resounding "HOLY SHIT", thus the term holy shit.

By now you must be wondering, "What the does this have to do with the current poilitical circus the Philippine government is facing?". You see, the last Presidential Elections was like a Capture the Flag (refer to #1 of terms/definitions) tourney with two competing clans, clan FPJ headed by their clan lord dA_k1nG and Clan GMA headed by their clan lady h3llo_garc1. It was the match of the century. Clan FPJ was kicking serious butt while clan GMA tried to do their best to dodge clan FPJ's rockets. During the end game, the sneaky h3llo_garc1 was in FPJ's camp waiting to bust dA_k1nG's ass to oblivion and retrieve her flag.

Try to imagine the following events as if they were in S-l-o-w M-o-t-i-o-n...
(1) FPJ's clan lord, dA_k1nG, was about to do a Flag Cap(refer to #2 of terms/definitions).
(2) Out of nowhere, h3llo_garc1 came out from her hiding place and shot dA_k1nG with her big-ass-rocket(it's not really that big but considering her size this rocket is *really* huge).
(3) dA_k1nG ate
h3llo_garc1's rocket... HOLY SHIT!(refer to #3 of terms/definitions)
(4) h3llo_garc1 now has clan FPJ's flag.
(5) h3llo_garc1 bunny hopped as fast as she could and eventually ended up planting clan FPJ's flag beside hers. Clan GMA scored and the rest was history.

Sadly, dA_k1nG is dead because of that horrible holy shit that h3llo_garci inflicted upon his royal ass. On the other hand, h3llo_garc1 and her clanmates won the match and everybody was happy except of course, for clan FPJ. And, one thing that everyone in this country is very familiar with is that Filipino politicians hate losing. So, clan FPJ did what all good sore losers do... accuse their opponents with cheating. h3llo_garc1 heard about the protest and simply said something like... "I'm sorry. Let's move on to the business of governing " which is definitely synonymous to "You losers suck! I won. Get it over with already.". Do you see the pattern? I do. We don't need a genius to understand what's going on. The tourney is already over and both clans are still shooting at each other.

You see boys and girls, politics is a game no matter what. So don't be fooled by it and the players(politicians) playing it. All they want is the flag. It's your flag. Are you willing to give that up?

1 comment:

knightdredd said...

There will always be TRAPOs in the government unless we kill them all... oh except those that have been good and are going to be corrupted soon by their fellows in the executive, legislative, and judiciary branches. We are badly in need of a civil war here...LOLz