Is this a paradox or what?

I want to post something, but I just can't seem to find anything to write about. It's actually quite irritating. Like an itch that doesn't go away no matter how much you scratch it.

Having a blog sort of gives you this implicit responsibility (Or whatever) to post something no matter how ridiculous or nonsensical or even if no one ever reads them. So you try to recall recent events, things you've read, things you ought to rant about, people that you feel ought to be brutally backstabbed, you know, anything. Anything you can get your hands into. But instead, you end up sitting blankly in front of your computer like a total retard who's about to eat his own boogers.

This is the part where I say to myself, "I need to find my mojo." Whatever that means...

I can't think of a title for this post.

I went to a hospital last evening. I had my ECG taken as well as an X-Ray of my lungs because I was having chest pains for three consecutive days. I had to be at work that day. So, I didn't have a choice but to have my check-up at night. To my surprise, they don't offer outpatient services at night but they said that I can have consultations in the E.R. but it will be more expensive. I said to myself "what-da-hell", this is the very reason why my employer pays medical insurance for its employees.

Well, there I was, the healthiest person in the emergency room, waiting for my doctor.

The patient on my left was a guy, probably in his 40s. He was really noisy. He kept asking the nurses to call his wife. He had a respirator on him, and they kept telling him to relax. At some point, he wanted to go to the toilet to take a piss. So they gave him something to piss into, but he declined. He insisted on going to the toilet because, according to him, there is "something wrong" with his dick. At that point, I said to myself, "Oh God, please tell the nurses to let this guy suffer in private." A couple of minutes later, he gave in and agreed to what the nurses wanted. I guess everyone in the room heard him taking a piss, only that it wasn't the sound of gushing water that we were hearing. Instead, we were hearing moaning and cuss words being spoken in alternate patterns. And then. finally, a sigh of relief as the guy told the nurse that he was finished. I think God didn't answer my prayer that time. It just goes to prove how he enjoys people being put in very awkward situations.

The one on my right was a teenager with a dextrose attached to his arm. He looked sick but he was calm and quiet. He was sitting on his bed with his dad and his brother. His father has the word "POLICE" in huge yellow colored text written at the back of his jacket. It was quite picturesque - a cop and his sick son on the Emergency Room - but in a gloomy sort of way.

There were more patients to my right but they were to far for me to notice.

Anyway, my doctor came and we talked. I had my ECG taken, then my X-Ray. I waited for a couple of minutes and then my doctor came back and we talked again. He said that I was "fine". Well, hearing your doctor say that you're fine sort of gives you a certain amount of relief. I was even tempted to joke around and say "for now".

On my way home, while I was on the taxi. I got to think about the things that go on in hospitals. Seeing doctors, nurses or any hospital staff member at work is always a humbling experience. I mean, I work for a software company. I do nothing all day but stare at my monitor. If my program crashes, I can always fix it then run it again. In short, unlike hospital folks, I work with machines and not with people. On the other hand, if a doctor makes a mistake in his diagnosis, if he made a conclusion that his patient is "fine" even if it's otherwise, then I wouldn't be able to crash my program again.